Holiday letter 2008 (a year late)

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

In trying to think of a catchy introduction to this annual tome, I finally thought, hey why not just get to the news, after all it is at least a month late. With that in mind, there was a ton of news this past year.

Literally and figuratively we had a HUGE addition to our family this year. Baby Jack Janes Olney (aka the tank), weighing ten pounds, was born to Kelly and Matt on June 9^th. He continues to be a big boy at 7 months and keeps growing in leaps and bounds. He is a funny kid, you can make him laugh by waving a newspaper in front of him and you can make him cry by handing him to me (aka the hammer), for two minutes. I swear I’m not torturing the kid. He likes his Grandmother Ginny, or Gigi, almost as much as she likes him.

There were two more new members to the family in June. Gus and Gine (hard G and rhymes with Tina), are golden retrievers who were given away because they each had some small behavior problems. They have turned out to be fabulous friends. They are very active dogs but I try to give them some time almost every day on our treadmill. I sit on the exercise bike next to them as they do their time. The golden rule is…a tired dog is a well behaved dog. Ginny and I spend a fair amount of time training them and miraculously, it seems to be working.

For those that are keeping track, I still work for Deloitte. In a few months it will be 6 years! I still think it is the best place I have ever worked and I hope that I get to retire from this place (not soon though mind you). I managed to do very little business travel last year but still I saw Nashville, New York City, Philadelphia, Orange County, Los Angeles, San Diego, Chicago, England and Norway and a couple places I’m sure I forgot. I’m working on my comedy writing. I know some of you will be saying, enough with the comedy, maybe you should focus on writing in a timely manner (did you notice this holiday letter is a month late?) But, I want to entertain not just inform. I have been getting my feet wet by submitting work to magazines, doing cartoon captions, and anything that will help sharpen my writing skills.

Even though Ginny retired from United in 2007 she is working as hard as ever. She is on the Board of the Pacifica Resource Center, which helps families in Pacifica that are in crisis. This year she is President of the Board so she will be spending more time than usual working on behalf of the Center. She continues to carry a rigorous exercise schedule which now includes running in trail races, cardio, weightlifting and work with her friend and trainer Jeanne B. One day she did manage to take a six hour “short cut” in the mountains while she was on a three hour training run with Gus, but no worries, they were both fine and had a good night sleep that night. Ginny is also a member of a neighborhood cooking club, she takes several classes in some kind of dance, art, yoga and I’m not sure what else. She took several trips to NYC in 2008 as Kelly went through her pregnancy, child birth, and medical problems with her gall bladder. Thanks to Skype video conferencing I didn’t feel like I was a total bachelor.

My Mom is slowly on her way into the fog of Alzheimer or dementia. Some of the family saw this coming for over a year now but it is very difficult to do anything to help. I succeeded in getting Mom to sign a power of attorney but that doesn’t carry much weight unless you are in the state (Alaska) where she is living and I live about 2000 miles away. I petitioned the state for guardianship but was unsuccessful due to mostly a strong set of laws protecting the individual and an overburdened state system that can’t do anything more than a quick surface evaluation.

Ginny’s Dad is doing well. He visited with us with his brother Roy in early December and they built a train platform for under our Christmas. It was perfect and will last for years to come. We loved having them here. Her Mom is doing well at Blue Bell Place. We visit her as often as we can and she almost always knows us.

We had the 3^rd annual Super Bowl Party where we had friends, family, and co-workers over to watch the big game. It is always fun but neither Ginny or I really get to watch the game.

I went on a great big adventure with my brother in law Bill Thomas this year. We went out and rented some dirt bikes (motorcycles), took them out on a trailer to Occotillo Wells Desert State Recreational Vehicle Area and for two fun filled days we learned (the hard way for me) how to ride off road in the desert and up the hills. Actually, I learned how to ride up the hills and tumble back down with the motorcycle bouncing off my chest armor (good thing I got that). Overall the weekend cost me a torn hamstring muscle, a very large hematoma (bruise), a couple bruised ribs, and a bruised shin bone. I’ve never had more fun in my life! Bill and I had to see Bette Midler perform in Las Vegas with Ginny and my sister Linda. That was the price we had to pay to go on the motorcycle trip. So I had to go through some pain in order to really injure myself out in the desert… actually, the show was pretty good.)

We had a gathering of family and friends over for the 3^rd annual 4^th of July celebration. Pacifica makes a huge deal about safe and sane fireworks and that there will be zero tolerance of illegal fireworks. And yet every year it is like a war zone. It seems as though some of those fireworks go off right in front of our house every year. Strange huh?

We took a trip to England and Norway in August and decided that just going ourselves (Ginny and me) would be too boring. So we invited my nephew Erik and Ginny’s nephew Emerson. I mean if you are going to travel to two foreign countries and move around to a different place every two days you should take two teenage boys just to add to the excitement. It turns out our instincts were correct and the two boys not only enjoyed themselves but I think they got some education out of it as well. We stayed almost entirely with friends (and you know they have to be good friends to put up with 4 of us) in England that we met in the 70s when Ginny and I were living there during my Air Force time. We stayed most of the time with relatives in Norway. Surely a way to find out how close you are to your relatives. They were unbelievable, (my relatives that is), they picked us up at train stations, took us to bus stations, loaned us their cars, let us sleep at their houses and made like they enjoyed our company. We started by taking a train (first we took the wrong train going in the wrong direction, ha) to see family in the south of Norway (Kristiansand) then we headed up the west coast where we visited the family homestead in Torvik. We had an absolutely hilarious dinner at a Chinese restaurant in Aalesund then we headed to the capital city Oslo where we stayed with one of my cousins and her family. Then we took a day trip southeast of Oslo to see more family and took a short (4 hour) jaunt to see my cousin’s quarry near Sweden (and brought home a couple stones from the homeland). Finally it was time to head back to London for a layover of 36 hours before heading home. Emerson left a couple days early and found his own way from Oslo, to London, and then home to Kalamazoo Michigan. Erik stayed with us and flew from London to San Francisco where my sister Linda met him and drug him the rest of the way home to Orange County CA.

Oh and as part of my ongoing “paying for the sins of my youth” program, I had to go in for knee replacement surgery in mid October 2008. I had an exceptional recovery according to the physical therapists and doctors but I was expecting to get over it pretty quickly so I’m proud but it didn’t seem all that exceptional. The one thing that I found to be most exciting was that I didn’t use anesthesia just a local nerve block so I couldn’t feel anything in my leg but I was awake and able to monitor what they were doing. It turns out they only had to do a partial knee replacement which is the equivalent of having your tires retreaded rather than replaced. It’s a complicated explanation but basically they go in and carve off some of the ends of the bones and anchor some metal surfaces on top of the bone. And for those that are interested, no it doesn’t seem to cause problems with the metal detectors at the airport.

We spent Christmas in Brooklyn with Kelly, Matt and Jack. Staying at Matt and Kelly’s co-op was fun and I got a chance to get up and walk around Brooklyn every morning checking out the greasy spoon restaurants for breakfast. I must reiterate the old saying….never eat at a place called Mom’s. Then we went to Philly to see the rest of the family. It was a wonderful holiday.

Well that is a summary of 2008. Feel free to comment, critique this.

John (aka hammer) and Ginny (aka Gigi to her grandson Jack aka Tank).

I keep me in stiches

First picture is from yesterday October 8th 2009. Last day of bandages on the wound.
The next picture is the scar itself. Almost entirely healed. So today much to the relief of everyone, I can take a full shower, ha. Ok Ok I've been taking showers, just nothing above the breast bone. Above that mark I had to just do a washcloth.

Now I can go out in the sund and get a tan on that neck...after I shave.

I'll keep you posted
-the John

The first cut is the deepest

I haven't really posted anything since the operation so I apologize. Quick update is as follows. The operation was fantastic, best 7 hours of sleep I've had in months. No pain whatsoever. I didn't need any pain medication except for the general anesthesia of course. I spent the first night in the Intensive Care of Critical Care Unit as they called it. That was to make sure no blood clots formed or that the swelling in my throat and trachea didn't suffocate me. I got up 3 times that first night and got to walk around with the assistance of a nurse because I had all these wires and hoses and tubes hooked up to me. Next day the doc saw me and said I was doing amazingly well and if it kept up I could go home Thursday morning less than 48 hours after the operation was completed. That night I had trouble with breathing and choking due to lung congestion and a swollen trachea/throat/esophagus but I was still able to get up and walk for 15 minutes at a time, three times. So I was discharged Thursday and went home. Sleeping has been very difficult due to the swollen throat etc. but last night with the help of some sleeping drugs and decongestants I got 6 hours of sleep on and off. Still having trouble speaking because my wind pipe gets blocked and I have lung congestion as well. The images attached are from the operation. On the multi image picture, the upper left image is "before". You can see that my neck had an unnatural S curve in it from when I fractured a couple vertebrae as a kid. The new neck has a nice C curve to it. You can't tell from the images but there is a plate in there as well which holds the whole mess together and it enforces the proper curvature to the spine. For the first time in a very very very long time I don't have numbness, burning, and pins and needles throughout my arms, neck, legs etc. I am still lacking a normal pain system and I don't seem to have much feeling in some of my fingers and hands but I can use them without discomfort for the most part. I tire easily I think from anesthesia after effects but I am able to walk 2-4 miles a day at a 20 minute a mile pace. The doc said walking is good but not too fast (no problem) and keep my head and neck stable with a brace. I'm going to call it quits for now. I'll come back and add color commentary to the whole affair in my next post.

I'll keep you posted
-The John

We set a date

I will be having my neck operation on September 29th. I will be in Saint Francis Memorial Hospital (I really wish they could do away with that memorial part), 900 Hyde St. San Francisco CA 94109. It is supposed to be a 4 1/2 to 6 hour operation which I will have to sleep through according to the doctor. Two to three days in hospital and then 3-5 weeks recuperation....I'm guessing I'll have plenty of time to write. I've said it before and I will say it again, I'm having great trepidation, fear and scairdy catness about this but everyone of my friends and family have assured me it will be just fine. More to the point, I am told I need to get my game face on and face this like a man because attitude is everything (I think that was Andre Agassi actually). So the next two weeks I will spend getting my attitude in order. Please no stories about friends or relatives who had a horrible experience. I can use that after the operation but not before, ha.

I'll keep you posted

-the John

The Unkindest cut of all

Went to the doctor yesterday to review the "options" for my neck. Ginny went with me as usual to provide adult supervision. It started out poorly when the doctor said "I have the results of your electrical conduction tests and I've highlighted in yellow the abnormal or poor results". Two thirds of the page was highlighted in yellow. I immediately suspected that this wasn't going to be a cheerful conversation. I was right. So after reviewing the results, I said, I assume this is a buildup to telling me that I can't have minimally invasive surgery and he said "that is not an option". Well it turns out there were no options except to have fusion of the vertebrae.

I told the doctor that I would like to discuss some of the risks of the operation and Ginny volunteered that I was afraid of paralysis (which is true but I'm not sure I would have lead with that question). The doc said that if I was concerned with paralysis, then I should have the operation because there is a greater chance of being paralyzed from not doing anything and letting the spinal cord continue to be damaged. He took us through the MRI photos again and pointed out how there were compromised nerve roots going to the arms (hence the arm numbness and burning sensation in the hands), a few vertebrae out of alignment and pressing in on the spinal cord causing the nerve signals to be delayed (hence the high pain threshold that I have suffered/benefited from), and peripheral nerve damage which causes a lack of feeling altogether in some instances (maybe that is how I gave myself a third degree burn a few years back).

So I asked the important question "doc, will I be taller and more handsome, when the operation is over?" he responded that I was a pretty handsome guy already.....I took that as a "no" on being taller.

So the operation for those of you keeping score at home involves taking out the disc material between the c4-c5, c5-c6, and c6-c7 vertebrae, putting in bone shims between those four vertebrae, putting in a plate (not fine china) and attaching the plate to the c4, c5, c6, and c7 vertebrae making it effectively one bone. At the same time he would fix the backward angle of my neck which is part of what is impinging on the spinal cord.

I asked if I had to be totally anesthetized for this and he just rolled his eyes and said three or four different ways, yes you have to be totally out. Why would you even want to be awake. I tried to explain that I would like to make sure they don't screw up and remove a leg or something but I could tell that wasn't going to make points with the guy who would have a knife at my neck in the very near future. I dropped that line of discussion.

The doctor said it would be a 4+ hour operation and that I would be out of commission for "a minimum of three weeks" which was a mild surprise because I was afraid it would be much longer. He said he was back at work 2 weeks after having a similar operation and I said "I'm a pretty tough guy, I will try to come back in less than 2 weeks". He said he would be keeping a close eye on me to make sure I don't screw something up.

He asked when I wanted to go under the knife and I said what do you have open? I was appalled when he said the 25th.....of this month. I reacted poorly saying that I had to check on my disability insurance and all that. How about January I replied, he said in an ominous tone " you should have this done sooner rather than later if you don't want to do further permanent damage. You have to hand it to him, he doesn't sugar coat things.

I left the office with a little tear in my eye, I'm tough but mostly in the abstract. You can take off my leg, remove my foot, or even replace my knee while I am awake, but put me to sleep and mess with my spine????? I'm not that tough.

I will finalize the operation date on Tuesday or Wednesday next week, I'll keep you updated.

the John

Houston we have a problem

Well I heard back from my doctor about my spine test. He says "the preliminary results are quite suggestive for both a spinal cord conduction delay and some sort of peripheral nerve compression in your arms". What the hell does that mean? I tried goggling it and don't get much specific information. The doctor did tell me that my historically "high pain threshold" may in fact be somewhat attributable to the nerve and spinal cord trauma that I suffered from jumping into that hay loft oh so many years ago. The doctor then went on to say, "Clearly there is an objective explanation for your complaints and you will require specific treatment which we can discuss at your next appointment". And finally "It is highly unlikely you will do anything to worsen your problems as long as you avoid any overhead lifting, prolonged neck flexion or extension or any contact/collision sports".

Ok, why couldn't he just tell me what the "specific treatment" would be. And I know he has never seen me play guitar but some people swear I do that as a contact sport. This also means I probably won't be doing any off road motorcycle rides in the near future. That was definitely a contact/collision sport the last time I did it.

Either way, I now have an appointment for this Friday the 4th to see what this specific treatment will be. I'll keep you tuned in.

the John

Clem Jones, M.D.

Of all the nerve!

Well, I took my spine test today and I'm not sure how well it went. The technician who administered the test said there are some "significant issues" with my right arm and the nerves that serve it, and there are some "symptoms" of problems with the left arm. The good news if I was looking for it was that the left arm wasn't as bad as the right. I don't know what this means in terms of the type of operation I will need but it wasn't the bright cheery, "hey you are doing just fine" that I was hoping for. Such is life, I'll find out in a week or so maybe what the report says.

the john