Maybe it is all in my head

Well another week has gone bye and I could be imagining things (well obviously I've been imagining things or I wouldn't have had all these troubles), but I think I'm starting to see the light at the far far far end of the tunnel, and more important I don't think it is a train headed for me. Actually the light was a tanning booth at the gym that I used yesterday and today. As part of the vitamin d thing, I'm using the tanning booth sparingly but it does work so I'm told for both vitamin D production and for serotonin production which just maybe is helping with my mood.

As a quick update for those of you who are interested or just amused by this stuff (and really if your just amused that is ok too, that means there is hope for my comedy writing). I saw my shrinkologist on Friday and he said I was depressed...in the tradition of Rodney Dangerfield I said I wanted a second opinion and he said "ok, you are overweight as well". But seriously folks, he told me to consider going on medication (or was it meditation). So over the weekend which went ok as far as anxiety goes (not perfect but for the most part the highs were lower and the lows were normal), I reached out to friends and family who have had experience with this situation and they were extremely generous with their time, advice and friendship. I won't acknowledge them directly but they know who they are (especially if they are reading this). I value their opinion and it was therapeutic just to know that my previous 50 years of offensive behavior wasn't enough to cause them to tell me to take a hike. Thank you all. I mean that as sincerely as I have ever said anything.

So with all that said, as if by magic (and I know it isn't magic) today has turned out to be one of my best days in months. I went hours without worry and started to think all this anxiety was just my imagination. Ok now back to earth. I'm going to give this a bit more time and see whether the medication will be necessary. I will almost certainly be reaching out to that same network of friends and relatives to discuss the situation so you are all forewarned. As I said in my previous posting, someday I'm going to see the humor in this and then I'm going to try and milk it for all I can. I gotta go now because it is 6:15pm and my doctor tells me I have to eat dinner at least three hours prior to going to sleep etc. etc. etc. so I have to eat soon or forgo dinner for the night. Those of you that know me at all know that isn't going to happen.

think positive thoughts

-the john