Living at break neck speed

Well as they say if it isn't one thing, it's your mother. Or something like that. Well my mother is now willingly going to an assisted living facility in Pennsylvania where she will be close to my aunt and cousins. I'll discuss that whole adventure in a separate post. Today is going to be about my neck, or lack thereof. You see when I was about 14 years old, I broke my neck. It was a diving accident, I was diving into a hay loft in a barn and got my foot stuck in the ladder and well, I broke my neck. And to paraphrase Joe Pesci from the movie Goodfellas, "if I hadn't done what the Doctor told me not to do, I wouldn't need neck surgery now". You see I was advised not to do anything.....that is anything, that would put a strain on my neck, not even diving off a high dive at a swimming pool.

So I went on to wrestle in high school and the air force, I played football, I did anything but avoid putting pressure on my neck. The consequences are that I have a slightly deformed spine now with bone spurs and a "pinched spinal chord" for lack of a better term. The doctor walked Ginny and I through the X-rays and MRI pictures yesterday and it actually made me a bit squeamish. You could see where the spinal chord was being deformed and restricted. And there was at least one nerve channel leading to the right arm that is almost completely blocked which is what is causing my arm pain and numbness.

The good news is the doctor said we are going to do some electrical tests to see if my spine is damaged and restricting the nerve signals to the brain. (I can leave some blank space in this posting for people that want to make wise comments now). If there is no major spinal chord damage, he thinks we (I) can just have the minimally invasive surgery to rebuild that part of the vertebrae that is cutting off the nerve to the arm, then they can clean out a little bit of the bone spurs on the back of the spinal chord and maybe patch up or remove a bit of the herniated disk that is in there. All of that through a hole the size of a drinking straw. On the other hand if my spinal chord is damaged, they will have to go in for a more dramatic surgery to fuse vertebrae and clean out the spinal column.

I did ask the doctor if these problems would account for my history of not feeling very much pain and he said yes that is a very likely result of the broken neck and spinal chord trauma.

So I'm going to get tested possibly as early as next week. I'll keep you posted as to how that goes and what surgery I will be having. You talk about a pain in the neck.....this is the epitome.

the john

Tempus fugit or so it seems

Wow, it has been a month since I last posted something. For those keeping score it is the john 1 - mental state 0. I have been feeling progressively better but it is still a battle between me and my state of anxiety. I have had so much help from my cousins, friends and my sister in law that I'm starting to wonder if I shouldn't have been nicer to them over the years. The answer is probably yes. Ginny has been like a personal coach. She goes with me to see the doctor about my shots and all that. I think she feels that I need adult supervision when I go to the doctor. She also gives me my shots which I think is only fair, seeing as how I've been such a pain in the rear to her all these years. It is her time to return the feeling, ha. I'm going to see a new shrink this week. I decided that my old shrink and I needed to start seeing other people. I'll try to update this as there is anything to write about but so far I think this stuff is starting to bore me, I can only imagine what it is doing to you all (I'm assuming there are at least two other people reading this because I automatically send it to Ginny and Kelly).

Speaking of boring, I have maintained my diet of no coffee, diet coke, eggs and sausage every morning for breakfast. Now I have a bowl of raisin bran, banana and blue berries with low fat milk. Ginny says this new plan will likely add 10 years to my life, I think it will just feel like 10 years. I have pretty much decaf tea or water to drink. I pretty much went cold turkey on the coffee and soda and I think that probably added to my stress rather than relieve it.

We went back to Philly for grandson Jack's first birthday party. Ginny and I flew into NYC and picked up Kelly and Jack and then we stayed at Joe and Lois' house (the in-laws). Everyone had a good time I believe. Matt came down on the train in time for the party. We drove them all back to Brooklyn the night before Ginny and I flew back home to SFO.

In other news, we rented out our house up in the north end of Pacifica. It was a bit nerve wracking because we thought we had someone who wanted to rent it but it turned out he couldn't move so we had to re-list the place on craigslist and then arrange to go meet about 150 different people that expressed interest in the place. Only about 10 couples ever showed up at the scheduled meetings but it turns out 10 was enough. One couple was really interested and we thought they would get it but another couple came and put a deposit check down the same day they looked at it. The first couple consisted of a professional musician and his wife who is related to a very famous musician. I don't want to give names as I think that would be a breach of privacy. As it turns out the new tenant works for the same law firm that the previous tenant worked for, and that is the same law firm that Kelly Janes worked for, and that law firm was the reason we moved to the bay area and bought that house in the first place. In a strange way 615 has been bought, paid for, and kept up by one law firm. Small world.

Well that is all I have for now. I'll let you know how things go.

the john

Maybe it is all in my head

Well another week has gone bye and I could be imagining things (well obviously I've been imagining things or I wouldn't have had all these troubles), but I think I'm starting to see the light at the far far far end of the tunnel, and more important I don't think it is a train headed for me. Actually the light was a tanning booth at the gym that I used yesterday and today. As part of the vitamin d thing, I'm using the tanning booth sparingly but it does work so I'm told for both vitamin D production and for serotonin production which just maybe is helping with my mood.

As a quick update for those of you who are interested or just amused by this stuff (and really if your just amused that is ok too, that means there is hope for my comedy writing). I saw my shrinkologist on Friday and he said I was depressed...in the tradition of Rodney Dangerfield I said I wanted a second opinion and he said "ok, you are overweight as well". But seriously folks, he told me to consider going on medication (or was it meditation). So over the weekend which went ok as far as anxiety goes (not perfect but for the most part the highs were lower and the lows were normal), I reached out to friends and family who have had experience with this situation and they were extremely generous with their time, advice and friendship. I won't acknowledge them directly but they know who they are (especially if they are reading this). I value their opinion and it was therapeutic just to know that my previous 50 years of offensive behavior wasn't enough to cause them to tell me to take a hike. Thank you all. I mean that as sincerely as I have ever said anything.

So with all that said, as if by magic (and I know it isn't magic) today has turned out to be one of my best days in months. I went hours without worry and started to think all this anxiety was just my imagination. Ok now back to earth. I'm going to give this a bit more time and see whether the medication will be necessary. I will almost certainly be reaching out to that same network of friends and relatives to discuss the situation so you are all forewarned. As I said in my previous posting, someday I'm going to see the humor in this and then I'm going to try and milk it for all I can. I gotta go now because it is 6:15pm and my doctor tells me I have to eat dinner at least three hours prior to going to sleep etc. etc. etc. so I have to eat soon or forgo dinner for the night. Those of you that know me at all know that isn't going to happen.

think positive thoughts

-the john

And the good news is....

Well it turns out I don't have Barrett's esophagus which is pretty nice because that would have meant I had a sort of pre-cancerous condition. I do have something going on in the esophagus and in the stomach with inflammation I guess is the best way to put it. So I am on one of those antacid things that I have to take every day and I can't eat anything that I used to eat (which is probably good too but my taste buds don't believe it yet). I still have the anxiety, shakes, and all that other stuff that evidently is from stress (mostly self induced). But I'll try to deal with that in my own private battle. I thought maybe posting stuff to the blog will help to deal with it but that might just be spreading it out to those who read the blog. I'm sort of like a carrier when it comes to stress. It's only recently that I've started to feel the effects myself.

This holiday weekend has been pretty good. We showed the rental home to two people but it was cold cloudy and foggy so that didn't do us much good. Add to that the fact that the house smells like a smoking lounge at an airport and I don't think we are putting our best foot forward. Still one of the people that looked at it seemed pretty interested. We have taken the craigslist posting down because we figure it is best to paint and fix up and fumigate before showing it to more people. If this person doesn't take it we will wait to show it until after fix up takes place.

Spent two days at Bodega Bay at my aunt's place. My cousins were also visiting with their families so there were 11 people and 3 dogs staying in the one house but there was plenty of room for everyone. The weather yesterday was great sunny and almost warm but today on Memorial Day the clouds, fog, and cold returned.

Well that's the update for now. My comedy writing has been on hold the last two months - no more on hold than the previous 50 years but this time sort of on intentional hold. I'm going to have to bear down and get on with it. There is so much going on at work that I can't seem to get my mind into being funny. Somehow that seems funny in itself.

the john

And I think I'm going out of my head

My neck now seems to be the least of my problems. After many many different tests, ECG, EKG, Tilt table tests, blood tests, and finally an endoscopy (they put a camera on a hose down your throat and look at your stomach among other things). Well I found out that I am way vitamin D deficient, B12 deficient and a few other things like testosterone which was almost nil. Now those of you that know me at all may find the testosterone thing weird but I am now officially on steroids for the rest of my life as the doctor explains it. I'm still having trouble with shakes, anxiety, and general unrest from lack of sleep but I'm trying to do something about that. I have to wait until the biopsies come back on my esophagus and stomach but they already told me I have GERD or acid reflux, and some ulcers so my diet is now restricted to everything that I never ate before and I can't drink or eat anything that was part of my normal diet before. So no fat, no pepper, no carbonated beverages (that means I can't have a half gallon of diet coke for breakfast anymore) no caffeine (so no more 6 cups of coffee a day), no acidic fruits or vegetables so no tomatoes, pizza, curry, etc. So I don't know what I'm going to do for food from here on out. Fat free blueberry muffins may become my only meal. You know I'm trying to find the humor in all of this and I haven't gotten there yet but I think with enough time I can turn this into comedy.

the john

Neck and Back pains

I've probably already let everyone know about my herniated disk and arthritis in my neck which causes me to wear one of those white neck braces which causes me to look like an egg in an egg coddler. Well I thought I had problems. It turns out that Ginny's lower back pains which she has been suffering since March of last year (08) is caused by a stress fracture. She has tried chiropractors, physical therapy and tylenol but she saw a Physiatrist (sp?) and he reviewed her MRI and spotted it immediately. Now she has her own brace to wear and she has to lay off the weight lifting, hill climbing/running and a buch of other things for about 6 weeks. The Dr. also ordered a CT Scan because he fears there may be another fracture which he can't see with the MRI. The good news is that if she rests properly she might do away with a lot of the pain and could go back to her normal exercise routines. Stay tuned.

the john

Much ado about nothing

well I went to the cardiologist on Wednesday and after much discussion he said" I am going to conlude that you don't have a heart problem".  so now i have to follow up with the regular doctor and see if it is gastrointestinal related or whether there is something from my pinched nerve and herniated disk in my neck that could be affecting this.  For those of you who have the patience to read this, I'll keep you up to date.  meanwhile today has been pretty good.  we found out on Thursday that the guy who rents our other house here in pacifica is moving out.  That was sort of mixed news.  He has paid rent on time without fail for about 7 years and has made no demands of any type for improvements etc.  On the other hand we had the rent set at a rate that didn't cover the costs of mortgage let alone mortgage, upkeep and taxes.  So at the advice of our real estate advisor (Kelly Janes) we put an posting on craiglist for the place and raised the rent 900 bucks and we got a response overnight.  We dont know if it will pan out or not but at least we know we should be able to get a rent that will cover our basic costs.  housing was appreciating at 10 percent a year we didn't worry too much but the zillow value of that house has dropped about 30 percent in the last year or so.  I'm not complaining but with job worries, 401k worries etc. it is nice to know that this place will carry itself while we sort through this economy.  stay tuned.

the john